Karan - Finding the Romance in everyday life

 

Jane Austen and her wit wiggled its way into my heart once again. Having not seen any film adaptations of her work since I was 10 years old and absolutely refusing to read any of her novels, until this semester. Being practically forced to do so by our lovely and dear Dr. D'Amico. Why did I refuse so harshly? Because I am sensitive. Because I know that when I first saw Pride and Prejudice (2005) when I was discovering myself and (very inconveniently) boys I was discovering a part of something that sang to me...and I was afraid. Afraid of feeling so much and too much that I would never be able to harden myself again. Unfortunately, at this age there were a series of events that led me to not trust myself, and especially, others. (See my Quirk publication here for further details: https://www.uiwquirk.org/nonfiction-2025/lermahellfire-one-zzlhb ) Now, I am a woman with a daughter who feels as deeply as I once did. She does so with such confidence and courage. There is no fear in her tears, her anger, or her overwhelming complexity. So, when Dr. D'Amico assigned Pride and Prejudice, I knew I was going to feel all the things I once did. This time, I had a small brave girl to inspire me. What was released was childlike whimsy, courage to find the beauty in moments that was in-between, grief that I missed out on holding such profound space for my tween and teen self, and to find beauty in the moments of uncertainty. Even if I was uncertain in myself, the breeze still blew and Viviane still sang as she played in her room. Austen's comedy, and characters, reveals something about what we long for and who we think we are. I have always longed for something simply magical. A home where laughter, tears, and all the human experiences can be held warmly and delightfully. Perhaps, a romance that saved me from the dangers of cruelty in humanity and from destroying myself. She conveys a world, where despite the frustrations and error, the world is still good and just. I so desperately wanted that when I was young, and still so desperately want that for my own daughters. I am Mrs. Bennet.